I have been thinking a lot about music lately.
Whenever I hear the song God Be With You Till We Meet Again, I will forever associate it with the end of my time in the mission field. To some extent whenever I hear it I start to sniffle a bit thinking about that period.
This association can also be positive. I absolutely get chills and feel the spirit of the song when either Spirit of God or Praise to the Man are sung. No matter how many times I hear it I feel boosted. In its own way Master the Tempest is Raging has that same effect.
Mind you I have songs that I associate with other emotions. Mostly these are not hymns, for reasons that become obvious fairly soon.
One of these songs that made an impression was Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses which fit my mood a lot at the time in my life. In a period when I distrusted quite a lot I found comfort in the heavier songs like this one.
One of the groups I listened to a lot when I was a teen was Depeche Mode. For whatever reason when I was in a black mood they influenced it, made me live in it a bit finding some sense of closure with what I was feeling. They were for me kind of depressing so they sort of fit well with my thoughts at the time.
Rush on the other hand I saw in Concert so for me they were much more positive, even when their music was kind of heavy. I found as a teen I connected well with their social message because I was not one of those easily slotted.
So where am I going, well in 1994 I was engaged to a girl I had first had contact with because she was the cousin of a companion on my mission. After it all fell apart spectacularly I was deeply hurt and disturbed. I destroyed most of the evidence she was in my life, burning her photos and letters and otherwise making a rather pathetic attempt to get my revenge, for whatever that was worth.
As it turned out I got married a year later after meeting another girl and six kids later I am needless to say over the emotions of that period. At least I thought I was. There were some little things that still surprise me.
1. I cannot watch Mrs. Doubtfire which I watched during the middle of the end of our engagement with her folks, as Dr. Evil would say, “Awkward.” It brings those feelings up even if they are by no means important. Now it is the movie that bothers me.
2. I am listening to my radio one day and heard a song by All American Rejects, Gives You Hell and the following lyrics hit me more or less right where I was during that period of my life.
Now you’ll never see
What you’ve done to me
You can take back your memories
They’re no good to me
And here’s all your lies
If you look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well
Yes it is not the most Christian way of looking at my life with her. In fact nowadays it really is not even an issue any more. But as I was having my burning party all those years ago this song would pretty much been played full blast. After all who was to know that I would meet my wife eight months later and that we would be married a year after I had my heart broken.
On a slightly more positive side to end with. When we decided we were leaving Wales our branch decided they were going to serenade us, as they do for all who are leaving. Let me tell you having a whole branch singing this song left myself wiping a few tears away. Even today just hearing the song will bring a few blinks to the eyes. I cannot hear it without seeing those great people who meant so much to me and my family for four years.
